It’s not easy to say what you really think today, even if what you think is reasonable, comes from a place of care, and is shared respectfully. All your effort to say things in just the perfect way isn’t going to save you. There will always be someone who misunderstands you or purposely misinterprets you, no matter how clear and well-intentioned you are.
Overcoming self-censorship requires understanding why you censor yourself. If you’re ready to take a hard, honest look into your soul, you’ll probably find fear. Maybe you’re afraid of being rejected, insulted, publicly shamed, or just upsetting other people.
Whatever your unique fear is, it’s the key to living your life more freely.
Everyone enters this life with a few rocks in their shoes that require a lifetime of work to dislodge. Self-censorship isn’t some special flaw, it’s just the prize you happened to pull off the struggle shelf. I don’t know who convinced everyone otherwise, but there has never been a human life lived without struggles.
Our problems don’t prevent us from improving the world—our problems are the head start we have for learning to solve those problems.
You know self-censorship holds you back, but self-censorship holds society back too. Overcoming your self-censorship is a chance to show other people they can overcome theirs. It’s a chance to start drawing attention to the issues and interests you care about with all the fire you feel.
Humans are hard to motivate when they think an action is mostly risk for little reward. If you’re sensitive to rejection or conflict, self-censorship feels like an easy and obvious choice, but that’s because the costs aren’t as clear. Learning to see the ways self-censorship stops you from being a better person and creating a better society will motivate you.
Upsetting people and being rejected are tiny bumps on the road compared to the costs of self-censorship.
A recent Revolution of One thread does a quick breakdown of the costs we pay for self-censorship:
While the full thread explains each of the 4 ways in detail, here’s the abbreviated version:
When you think about all the different ways biting your tongue ends up biting us all in the end, facing the discomfort of honest expression feels worth it.
Instead of focusing on the potential problems that come from honest expression, focus on the problems caused by self-censorship.
It takes courage and confidence to say what you think. Being openly yourself requires believing that you have the same right to self-expression as anyone else—especially in the moments you doubt it.
We don’t make our society a better place by being afraid to share our thoughts. We improve society by developing the courage to express ourselves and inspiring others to do the same.